the celebration and devastation of time…

This morning hurts.  I can feel it already even though it’s only 8AM.  It hurts like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.  I’m not really sure how to begin explaining it because it’s highly possible that no one will relate.  But maybe some of you will.  I have been trying to find the words for what I’m feeling for weeks … Continue reading the celebration and devastation of time…

Burden or light.

http://www.RachelWilliamsOnline.com I don’t know when it happened exactly.  I just know it happened. It wasn’t overnight.  It wasn’t one catastrophic event.  It wasn’t someone’s words that lingered.  It wasn’t one specific loss that did me in. So I guess it was an endless series of things…life…that didn’t seem all that noticeable at the time but “out of nowhere”, somehow, it all culminated into a big ball of everything.  Defeat.  … Continue reading Burden or light.

What is mine…

Yards.  Lawns. People take such pride in them, right?  Mowing, watering, landscaping, gardening.  Personally, I never got into it.  However, I do remember how I enjoyed using my push lawn mower in my first rental house. **See photo below for proof** I was about 21 years old, renting a one bedroom, 500 square foot house on a dead end street in East Nashville.  Mowing my lawn was my way of … Continue reading What is mine…

“I talked myself out of it.”

It’s 2AM and I can’t sleep. There is nothing particularly wrong.  Sometimes the brain just wants to create…and in my case, that means I’m writing. It’s been over a month since my last blog.  I’ve thought about sitting down and writing every single day since then.  I’d take my laptop in the car with me wherever I’d go…including a couple trips to Nashville in December and … Continue reading “I talked myself out of it.”

Silenced.

I will never, in my lifetime, forget December 2, 2010. I was sleeping in bed alongside my “work-in-progress” boyfriend at the time, in my blue bedroom, in my new house in Hermitage, TN.  I woke up to my phone vibrating on the nightstand.  I picked it up and immediately saw a photo of a baby in an incubator, all 19 inches and 7 lbs 4 oz of him.  The … Continue reading Silenced.