Daily meditations, yoga stretches, long walks, a good book – I do these things to quiet my thoughts and center. But now, I’m being asked to hold a magnifying glass over my thoughts and memories every morning, and then re-center myself from where ever the chapter/exercise took me? And I’m doing this voluntarily? Correct. Continue reading To begin.
Well, this is a big week. A big week on many levels. I’m experiencing all kinds of feels. But more on that later. It’s been a quite awhile since I’ve written and posted a blog, and I feel like I should catch you up on the happenings… A year ago today, I was preparing to release my 2nd single independently, “Suicidal Heart”. A dual-versioned single, … Continue reading the year of everything.
I’ve sat down to write this more than a handful of times over the last week or so, trying to share some recent and sensitive news with everyone. Every time, I carve out an hour and I just start to type. And every time, my free-flow of emotions settle differently, my “message” varying with each writing session. When people use the cliche, “…all the … Continue reading The first.
The show was starting in 20 minutes. I had already taken up my normal post for whenever I play the Bluebird Cafe. My preferred spot in the round is the chair that faces the big windows and the front door, so naturally I claimed it the moment I walked through the door. I was fiddling around for my lip gloss when one of my girlfriends … Continue reading Happy One Year Anniversary, Ray.
It’s midnight. I’ve got the front window open and I can hear the rain hitting the pavement. Usually that would put me to sleep, but for some reason, it’s inspired me to open my MacBook once again. So again, I’m sitting where I feel like I’ve been sitting for weeks now… at my kitchen table. With a computer screen in front of me, an iPhone … Continue reading Reinvention on paper.
It’s a weird thing. I have literally thought to myself and/or said out loud to others, “I really feel like blogging” and yet… nothing. For quite awhile now. That is always a huge indicator for me. I write when I have something that needs to be said. When the desire to write my heart, read it back, and allow myself to process is more overwhelming … Continue reading everything in the middle of nowhere.
http://www.RachelWilliamsOnline.com I don’t know when it happened exactly. I just know it happened. It wasn’t overnight. It wasn’t one catastrophic event. It wasn’t someone’s words that lingered. It wasn’t one specific loss that did me in. So I guess it was an endless series of things…life…that didn’t seem all that noticeable at the time but “out of nowhere”, somehow, it all culminated into a big ball of everything. Defeat. … Continue reading Burden or light.
Yards. Lawns. People take such pride in them, right? Mowing, watering, landscaping, gardening. Personally, I never got into it. However, I do remember how I enjoyed using my push lawn mower in my first rental house. **See photo below for proof** I was about 21 years old, renting a one bedroom, 500 square foot house on a dead end street in East Nashville. Mowing my lawn was my way of … Continue reading What is mine…
It’s 2AM and I can’t sleep. There is nothing particularly wrong. Sometimes the brain just wants to create…and in my case, that means I’m writing. It’s been over a month since my last blog. I’ve thought about sitting down and writing every single day since then. I’d take my laptop in the car with me wherever I’d go…including a couple trips to Nashville in December and … Continue reading “I talked myself out of it.”
I will never, in my lifetime, forget December 2, 2010. I was sleeping in bed alongside my “work-in-progress” boyfriend at the time, in my blue bedroom, in my new house in Hermitage, TN. I woke up to my phone vibrating on the nightstand. I picked it up and immediately saw a photo of a baby in an incubator, all 19 inches and 7 lbs 4 oz of him. The … Continue reading Silenced.